Critical Analysis

Find answers to the following questions using the visual above, any links below, your big brain, and your knowledge of American government and politics:

1. According to the data from the chart above, how silly are the American people?

2. Does the data from the chart above make you feel better about yourself?

3. Yeah, but how reliable is the data. I mean, how many Sasquatch did they interview in the poll?

4. And what percent of Bigfoot think Americans are real?

5. How many Americans would vote for Bigfoot if he ran as a member of their political party?

6. And what political party is Bigfoot a member of, anyway?

7. When Joe Biden offered the office of Secretary of Commerce to Bigfoot why did Bigfoot decline the offer?

8. If Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, Tupac, and Snuffleupagus fell in the forest would it make a sound?

9. According to the Article I, Section 2 of the U.S. Constitution, are two sasquatch referred to as bigfeet or bigfoots?

10. If Bigfoot was involved in voter fraud and stole the election would Democrats still not believe?

11. According to the data from the chart above, about 1/3 of Americans either think Bigfoot is definitely real or probably real, and about 1/3 of Americans think the election was stolen. Are they the same people?

12. How do demographics* (see charts below) impact belief in Bigfoot (which is, by the way, totally real!)?

13. Although Federalist No. 10, and Federalist No. 78 don’t say a whole lot about Bigfoot, if you take a really deep dive into Federalist No. 51 I think you’ll see that James Madison was using checks and balances as a metaphor for relations between the federal government, state governments, and Bigfoot. Really! Really! No lie. Go ahead, and give Federalist No. 51 a good careful read and see if you agree with my analysis. Really, you won’t be disappointed, read Federalist No. 51 (also known as the Pamphlet of Largehoofed).

14. How embarrassed did the pollsters feel who actually had to ask these questions?

15. And how often did those pollsters laugh at the respondents who said they definitely know Bigfoot is real?

16. It has long been true in politics that the higher a citizen’s income the less likely they are to believe in Bigfoot. Does that make you want to be poor?

17. It’s hard enough being a Bigfoot, but then the pandemic hit. How do you think the data in the chart above made Bigfoot feel?

18. Did you know that the average Sasquatch adult male is said to be at least 8 feet (2.4 meters) tall, weigh 800 pounds (360 kilograms), and have feet twice the size of a human's. The creatures are described as shy and nocturnal, and their diets consist mostly of berries and fruits. You might not be able to prove Bigfoot is real but you can’t prove it’s not real so therefore it must be real, right???!!!?!! Right! Right? Please? Right?

    Write and Discuss

Take ten minutes to write about the question at the top of the page and then discuss with your classmates.

Act on your Learning

Contact Bigfoot and ask him to come to class to settle this once and for all.

Get Creative

Haiku is a Japanese form of poetry that has three lines. It has five syllables in the first and third lines. It has seven syllables in the second line. Its lines don't rhyme. Write a Haiku about bigfoot political party identification that you can share with older family members.

Learning Extension*

Bigfoot was investigated by the F.B.I. Here’s what they found. And this North Carolina man bumped into Bigfoot when he was out hunting. You watch this video and then try telling me that Bigfoot isn’t real!!!